WHAT?
A EUROVISION EXPLAINER
FROM ROB, TO YOU
Is There A Pamphlet I Can Read?
Nope.
The best suggestion I have: just show up. The rules don’t make sense. The principles of Eurovision are mostly contradictory. Just experience it. Listen to some songs.
The next best suggestion I have: just watch the Will Ferrell movie on Netflix.1It’s 120 minutes long but it’s genuinely pretty alright and definitely a loving tribute to Eurovision. One thing it’s not, it’s not parody. Pretty much every beat, joke, or detail in the movie is an allusion to a real thing that happens or has happened in the actual Eurovision.
The worst idea I have: continue reading through the next ((muttered incomprehensible)) pages of text I put together whenever I’ve been bored over the last couple months.
More Popular Than the Super Bowl
Audience numbers are sketchy, but accepted that 150-200 million people watch each year.
You Can Bet On It
The odds are pretty dumb until March, then change a lot the first week of May. Call 1-800-GAMBLER if you think you might have a problem.
American Idol + The Olympics
Do you want established professionals, representing the continent’s best performers? Absolutely not.
Just Watch the Netflix Movie
There’s actually no jokes in The Story of Firesaga, every ridiculous or insane thing in the movie is a real Eurovision thing.
The Basics
Eurovision an international song competition organized annually by the European Broadcasting Union. Each participating country submits an original song to be performed live and transmitted to national broadcasters around the world. It is the largest song contest in the world and often the most watched broadcast across the globe (yes, even more than the World Cup and the Superbowl... some years... depending on who is supplying the viewer numbers.
There are two components to scoring: The Jury Vote and the Popular Vote. In both jury and popular vote, you cannot vote for your own country.
Each participating country has a jury that ranks their favorites, giving 12 points to their favorite, then 10, and 8-1 to the next best. During the grand finally the jury rankings are then revealed country by country. The Popular Vote ranking is also by country. Although the method of participation in the popular vote vary depending on the rule changes of the year and the logistic realities of participating countries, the easiest way currently is either using a local cellphone or a smartphone app. The votes are tallied for each country and the 12, 10, 8-1 scores are given to the favorites from each country.
There are fewer rules than one might guess. Here are the basic rules have been consistent from year to year:
1) All competing songs must have a duration of three minutes or less.
This is pretty much the only real rule that is consistently enforced.
2) Maximum of six permitted on stage during competing performances, and no live animals are allowed.
This rule was set in 1971, previously only solos or duos were allowed, and solo artists only in 1954. No idea why the 'no live animals' is always included. It should be mentioned, there are frequently back up singers on stage but off camera, so while many acts appear to be a solo performer, if you hear additional voices those are (typically, see below) 1-5 additional people that are counted to the maximum "six people" per performance.
3) Competing songs in a given year's contest must not have been released commercially before the first day of September of the previous year.
If you remember the controversy over the academy award for the song "Falling Slowly" from the movie Once, then you already have an idea how this rule can get fuzzy. Already this year an entry has been withdrawn because it's too similar to a song performed at an a couple years ago. Unreleased songs that were written yearsd ago are allowed, and often entry will be a song that was was written for a prior Eurovision performer, but not picked for whatever reason.
The Rules
The Launch in Photos
Not Actually Rules
A lot of intelligent people could reasonable surmise these are rules of Eurovision, but that assumes that Eurovision lives in world of logic and reason. It does not.
1) Wait, why are so many people singing in English?
Rules specifying in which language a song may be performed have changed almost as often as voting rules. No restrictions were originally enacted when the contest was first founded in 1954, but they were enacted in 1966, abolished in '73, re-established in '77 and finally removed again in '99. There is still some controversy over the correct approach. English gives a wider appeal, it's assumed, but many voters state they prefer songs in the performers native language as it seems more earnest and more specific.
2) Wait, why is Morocco and Turkey considered Eurovision countries?
Yeah, even if you're not classically considered Europe by geography or culture, if your national broadcaster is a member of the EBU in good standing, you can participate.
3) Wait, Australia??
Yeah. Australia loves ESC and has a broadcaster that understands ESC and has sent entries on a trial basis over the last 10 years. It was a provisional rider, but their entries have been very good, and arguably there are a couple entries that could have, or should have won, if it weren't for some Anti-Australian voting.
4) Do you have to be from the country you represent? Is Flo Rida actually Italian?
It's up to each participating country to set its own rules for participation. Some broadcasters are super invested in their ESC entry representing local culture from top to bottom. Other countries asked Flo Rida to sing on their entry, is he from San Marino? No, he's from (unsurprisingly) Miami Florida.
5) How do you keep politics out of music?
The short answer is; you don't. There are literally academic papers on the intertwined influence of Eurovision and European Politics. That being said, EBU has occasionally kicked a performer for overt propaganda.
Your one stop shop for information:
The official website:
The best website about anything I’ve ever seen ever in my life:
Oh my god, it’s beautiful. As someone who spent time making a geocities website in 7th grade I almost cried with joy scrolling through Lisa’s website. I thought spending 4 hours one Canva and WordPress was over the top but Lisa is a true gangster.
I'm unclear if she wanted to leave the old site up as a monument to it's glory, or it's possible Lisa is a programmer of such skill, she new there was no way to top the old site, and just wanted to start over for 2025.
A Eurovision Blog That’s TOO online:
I don’t know if I recommend visiting that site.
The Eurovision Cycle of Hype and Withdrawal: Thanks to @thiefoworld
